Understanding why people divorce is oftentimes the groundwork in ensuring a friendly, no-conflict divorce can occur.
You should find a way to understand what happened in your marriage that led to the dissolution. Were there life-stresses that you could not overcome as a couple, such as job loss or a death in the family? Was there infidelity? Are there chronic health or addiction issues? Has there been a shift in lifelong goals? Are you at different stages in your life and cannot find any common ground? Are there life-skills that are lacking development, such as communication, anger management, poor listening or argumentative tendencies?
If you can understand what happened then you may be able to avoid the blame game or your impulse to punish the other party for their actions (or lack thereof), which will simply add to the emotional impact and inability to move forward amicably. The goal to getting to the place of a friendly, no-conflict divorce means that you have to proceed with an understanding that there are things that both parties did which led to the divorce and take on that individual responsibility to move on. Learning from your mistakes will allow you to rectify them and avoid repeating the same pattern in the future.
When working on the goal of maintaining a friendly, no-conflict divorce there needs to be fairness, compromise and a collaborative dialogue to get a settlement completed. To that end, make sure you select a law firm that understands this goal and is working with you to achieve a friendly, no-conflict divorce.
Jennifer R. Ward has exclusively practiced in the matrimonial and family law field for nearly 20 years. Furthermore, Ms. Ward is Adjunct Faculty at the John Marshall Law School teaching family law legal drafting to law students and has done so since 2005.